Well, not exactly.

I’ve been working behind the scenes on a new project these past few weeks and now it’s finally finished. Folks, I’ll be packing my bags and heading out to a better and bigger home called Kate Yowein. It will still continue the vision of what Live Out of the Box is all about –writing, fiction, inspiring others to go after their dreams and more minus the travel and personal development. I’ll still be doing those in this wordpress.com blog but most of my efforts will be concentrated into my new website.

I’m pretty excited about this project and it just shows the growth I’ve had since I’ve decided to take up the pen again and resurrect this blog last year. Many wonderful opportunities followed both from the real and virtual world and now I’m ready for a bigger challenge.

It’s all about taking things to the next level.

So update your bookmarks and see how things are going at–

Kate Yowein

And thanks to Vienna, for believing that I a total non-techie could do this.

It all began like everything else with a story.

The car was cloaked in darkness. Three boys, three girls who were lured with the sweet promise of adventure in India. We were on a road trip that was doomed to last for fours hours that would take us to our tiger safari in Rathambore. Our supply of rum and chips was running out.

And we were bored.

“The car got a flat tire so Joel went out for a piss.” Aaron’s voice from the backseat sliced through the deadweight silence that settled on us, shifting it aside like an old musty blanket.

Joel sat up from the middle of the car and continued the story. “But before he could do so, he felt Michelle’s hand on his ass because she wanted some action.” He licked his lips.

“All Michelle wanted to do actually was shove Joel out of the car because it was getting stuffy.” Michelle shot him a triumphant look.

“At that point, the midget appeared,” Seamus at the front continued.

“Whoa, what’s up with the midget?” Joel said.

“It’s not your turn, Joel,” said Aaron. He stared across from Shirley at the back and rolled his eyes.

I took a deep breath, excited at how these things were turning about. For some reason, the car was getting warmer. “The midget led these six –

“—Seven. What about the driver?” said Joel.

“Ssh. Let her continue,” said Seamus.

“Seven lost souls to a house in the middle of nowhere. There they found –“

“You’re only allowed a sentence,” Aaron interrupted.

“Fine. –Middle of nowhere and there they found an orgy of men and women, their brown flesh dripping with intoxicating sweat.”

“Hello!” Joel exclaimed.

“At that point, the group decided to take off their clothes and join in,” said Seamus. His eyes met mine and held them for some time. My tongue peeked out and I licked my lower lip nervously, leaving a shiny trail.

“But the girls hesitated, unsure of themselves and let the guys have a stab at it first,” Shirley said. Aaron’s foot nudged hers as the vehicle rocked from passing a pothole.

“Surely the guys wouldn’t protest as they’ve been eyeing each other for a long time and this was the perfect opportunity for them to unleash their carnal desire,” Michelle said.

“But, but,” Aaron said. “The midget announced that customs dictate the women always go first so regretfully, the guys backed down to let the girls take the limelight.”

“Now you’re talking.” Joel grinned. “To help these girls overcome their sudden shyness, a few of the naked women with their breasts dripping of coconut oil decided to come and help them out.”

“At that point –” Seamus began.

“At that point,” the group bellowed in unison, now aware of his trademark.

Unabashed Seamus continued, “At that point, they decided to give each other an oil massage.”

I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. “But it was hard to take off the girls’ wet saris that were clinging to their supple flesh from the rain so frustrated our dark skinned friends decided to tear them off.”

“And proceeded to also strip down the men,” Michelle said.

“I’m not complaining,” said Joel. His arms snaked around behind my shoulder. “Supple flesh, where did that come from?” he whispered into my ear. Then the car rocked again. I was pressed further into Michelle’s warm body and she grasped my waist so I was caught in this awkward embrace between the two of them.

“The men dived in to dance and cavort and taste the throbbing buttocks of delightful female flesh,” Aaron said. Not breaking his eye contact with us, his hand rested softly upon Shirley’s thigh.

“As if under a heady trance, the six—” I said.

“-Seven,” corrected Joel. His fingertips grazed my ear.

“The seven did not know whose flesh they’ve tasted for all they wanted was to be in the moment, to exist right here and now, with their animal juices running down their thighs and it was hard to breathe underneath those pulsating bodies with their fingers clawing onto each others’ backs drawing droplets of blood.”

“That’s one paragraph,” Joel said. He fanned himself with his other hand. “Is it getting hot here or is it just me?”

“At that point – ”

The car skidded to a stop. For a moment, there was a pregnant silence as everyone noted with disappointment that we’ve arrived. Perhaps we’d hoped that the tale will soon venture with a tentative foot to the real world. But that hope was now gone. There was no more story.

“At that point, everything came to an end.”

Photo by Quasebart

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Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark clouds

Of night and light and the half light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

—William Butler Yeats

I hate marking papers.

I thought for sure in the last couple of weeks before the end of the semester my schedule would be a little bit looser. Fate didn’t think so. In fact she stuck her tongue out and jeered, “Guess what?”. When I had planned for my week, I found I still have a huge stack of final papers to go through, hundreds of evaluation sheets to tally and compile its data to make a report and a staggering load of essays still in the backlog.

My 2 hours of writing to preserve my sanity was going to be compromised.

This is the part I fucking absolutely hate in teaching in a formal academic setting.

Paperwork. Because it’s often expected that a teacher often brings home work and you tend to use your spare time doing that. My sister wouldn’t trade her bank job for mine when she sees me lugging home a sack (literally) full of papers and then settling down to mark them while she kicks off her pumps and watches American Idol.

Instead of waking up excited everyday to do my writing, I’m grumpy and suicidal because I’m using scarce precious hours on goals that aren’t mine but someone else’s. I know it makes me miserable but unless I want to lose my job, I have to do them.

If I procrastinate on that mountain of paperwork, I’m going to have an anxiety attack and then as a result procrastinate and grow even more anxious as the backlog grows to gigantic proportions till the deadline looms nearer and I know I’ll have to put in all-nighter, my stress levels going through the roof, I’ll probably do a messy job and then I’ll have a memo waiting for me.

Fuck!

I do not want to be stuck in this lifestyle because I do consciously want to pursue my dreams and am making an effort to slowly start supporting myself through my writing but how can I do that when my job demands more and more time from me everyday? It’s a sick cycle. I’m aware of the truth of the situation I’m in. I want to get out of it but the situation won’t allow it unless I cut off all the ties. Go broke. Get out there exposed in the cruel world without a shield –naked, shivering, alone and hopeless.

I’d like to escape this rigid academic college setting and go back to language teaching but I still had some horrible scars from the latter. It demanded a lot from you to the point of giving you no day offs for a couple of weeks, having you make an entire book from scratch, call you at 7 in the morning on your supposed day off work because a teacher got a hangover from clubbing and would you get your ass here and no we won’t pay for your transportation and overtime and we won’t give you another extra day off for this because it’s your fucking job. What do you expect this school to be –a friggin’ spa?

So remembering all those sick memories, I’ll stick to my college job and its ugh paperwork, thank you very much and still earn thrice more than from that horrible job.

But I can’t afford to be too complacent in my present situation either. I shouldn’t. The new semester rears its ugly head closer and closer. It’ll be here in a couple of days but this time I’ll make sure it doesn’t snatch me away from my temple of nirvana, my brief moment to dance in heaven with the angels. Control the amount of homework I give out. Take on less teaching hours even if I have to suffer a pay cut. I’m willing to earn half of what my salary is today if I can spend my days doing what I love.

Because money isn’t important. Being happy is.

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Sorry for the delay. Work is finally over. YES! Am now in India for holiday and detoxifying all that stress. I’ve sneaked in a bit of blogging while staying with a host family. Will be back in full gear China by February 2.

We were on the outskirts of town, where no one dared to venture and the roads lay deserted. Skeletons of oak trees lined the streets and the air was perfumed with dry sweet despair. As David walked towards us in his worn out clothes, he swayed from side to side like a broken pendulum.

“How are the love marks I’ve given you, bro?” David looked at Charlie. His voice slurred. “Do you want me to do it to you again?”

Charlie quickly covered his wrists instinctively as if to protect them from the monster before us.

So the bastard lied.

I brought out my gun.

David’s eyes took notice. “You were always a lousy shooter.”

“But good enough to blow your brains from over here.” I brought the gun up and aimed it at him.

“Is that any way to greet an old buddy?”

“Reunion’s over.”

David grinned and then collapsed before my very eyes. I quickly got out of the car.

“John! Get back here!” Charlie called after me, too scared to get near his brother.

I bent over David’s prone form. His dilated pupils stared ahead as if he was looking straight through me. Gashes lined his forehead. Clasped tightly in his right hand was Susie’s gold watch.

To be continued

The Devil Wants You Dead – 1

The Devil Wants You Dead – 2

The Devil Wants You Dead – 3

The Devil Wants You Dead – 4

The Devil Wants You Dead – 5

The crazy holidays are over! Which means I’m now making up for lost time by working on a Sunday. There is still a ton of marking to be done and more to arrive but at least classes are over. And soon the blessed word that every student and teacher want to hear will begin –VACATION.

If you want to read this series from the beginning, click here. See all parts below.

David’s laugh punctuated the still silence that morning as he landed with a mighty splash into the lake. He broke out from the surface triumphant before spying the outsider on the grass calmly studying for their high school examinations.

Breaking out into a mischievous grin, he shot a mighty torpedo of water towards Charlie.

He tried to protect his trigonometry book but it was too late. The assault was too quick to evade. “Look what you did,” he growled, squeezing out droplets of water from his shirt.

“I did you a favor,” he said.

Charlie looked at how the silver lights danced upon the gentle surge of turquoise waters. For a moment, his resolve wavered. Then he pursed his lips. “It’s a waste of my time.”

David rolled his eyes. “Count on us to do that for you.”

Charlie sighed in resignation. He started to take off his shirt and then stopped. His face flushed, he turned to his right. We followed his gaze and saw the telltale sheen of auburn hair and that familiar laugh across the woods. A reverent hush came over us boys as Susie descended on our territory. She was a nymph blessing us mere mortals with her presence. She granted me a smile and I never knew why I deserved such a gift. Behind her, Charlie’s eyes smoldered with rage and jealousy.

I gasped, the car jolting me awake as it passed a pothole.

“How long was I out?” I asked Charlie.

“A couple of minutes.”

We had been driving for hours in search of David. For some reason, Charlie couldn’t sense where Susie was. I had already called in sick for work and he had morning classes. I could only depend on his intuition now to lead us to him.

“I just had a dream. Remember that day we went swimming in the lake? Back when we were sophomores?”

He groaned. “How could I forget? I flunked that trigonometry test because of you guys.”

“And bounced right back to become valedictorian.”

“Those were the days.”

“You had everything — the grades, the sports medals, the girls.”

“Not all girls,” Charlie whispered.

He was right. I felt a surge of triumph that Susie chose to belong to me and not to him. Which was why he had to steal her away from me. He just couldn’t stand it not having everything.

But I didn’t want to talk about her.

I stared at the passing trees outside. “You were voted most likely to succeed. I was voted most likely to end up in death row.”

“I was jealous of you.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“You didn’t give a shit about anybody, John. I did.” He gripped the steering wheel. “You went around doing pot, flunking your courses, spray painting Anarchy in the UK on the school walls. You even mooned Principal Whitehall.” He laughed at the memory.

“Yeah, and look at us now. Who’d knew I’d end up as an accountant? Or you teaching Sponge Bob to kids?”

“Yeah, life’s funny, isn’t it?”

“I never understood why you ever gave up that senior manager job.”

“When you get tired of constantly living up to other people’s expectations and not your own, when you find you’re spending your days in misery and pain, when you could hardly look at yourself in the mirror without feeling guilt, disgust and shame then…….we’ll talk.”

He suddenly slammed on the brakes, pitching us forward. I hit the windshield.

“Jesus Christ!” I shouted.

Charlie’s eyes never left the road. Instead they stared straight ahead without answering me. Slowly, I turned to the direction where he was looking. Standing in front of our car was David.

To be continued

Photo by pixietart

Happy New Year Everybody! I’m looking forward to what everyone else has in store for 2009.

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The Devil Wants You Dead – 1

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