The Allergy of Worry and How to Cure Anxiety

I broke out in hives yesterday.

I’m not allergic to anything. Shrimps. Peanuts. Bees. Fruits. None of the above. It was easy to proceed with MIT scans and vaccinations knowing I wasn’t going to be rolling on the floor wheezing and turning into a nice sheen of rigor mortis blue.

Yesterday however was the exception.

Once a month I descend into a hole of no return. Some call it depression. Others call it a slump. I discovered it was Post Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) . It’s a more extreme form of PMS that affects 3-5% of women. During this time where my body undergoes wonderful horrible chemical changes during the luteal phase releasing high levels of hormones such as cortisol (stress), serotonin (anger and fatigue), aldosterone (high level of anxiety) and glucocorticoids (depression) . It’s a time where my brain latches its tenacious roots onto any small unfulfilling aspects of my life and magnifies them to supernova proportions. The results?

• intense feelings of unhappiness
• being unable to see a positive future
• feelings of worthlessness – feeling useless at everything
• increased sensitivity to rejection or criticism
• feeling suddenly sad or tearful
• crying a lot for no particular reason
• marked anxiety or tension – a feeling of being keyed up or on edge
• persistent and marked anger, irritability or an increase in conflicts with other people
• losing interest in usual activities (eg work, school, friends, hobbies)
• difficulty concentrating
• feeling tired all the time
• feelings of being overwhelmed or out of control.

From PMS or PMDD? from Netdoctor

The timing couldn’t get any better.

I had just quit my job last week and was going to lay the foundation this week in moving my stuff from my apartment, decide what to do with my money in the bank, do the termination procedure in my college and prepare for a trip next week.

Instead my body decides it’s the best time to betray me by pumping me with lots of crying hormones. There is nothing worse than a hormonal reaction to kill productivity.

What am I supposed to do? I can’t push myself because I have no drive. Any attempt at planning drives me into overwhelmed mode. And one major issue that’s just been eating voraciously at my self-esteem is MONEY.

Let me explain how this drove me to a nervous breakdown last night.

This past year I have worked two jobs to save up for the projected months ahead of unemployment. My other part time jobs have paid for my travel to Burma and other surprise hefty expenses like getting a new passport, visa fees, shipping my stuff and migration application.

Due to these unexpected expenses I wasn’t able to hit my target of saving enough for a year. Instead it is just good enough for six months. Lesson: become a better financial planner. Math was never my strongest suit.

So I’m looking at the figures in my expenditure report and my heart is just dropping 60 miles per second to the bottom due to the following:

• I have some travel plans coming up and ticket prices have skyrocketed. I had held off buying tickets because I wanted to make sure I had my new passport and visas. These would be the biggest dent in my budget.
• Part of the reason I quit was to pursue my dream of starting my freelance writing business full time. If I continued working in my stressful job, I wouldn’t have enough time to do it. It wouldn’t be until a few months later I’d break even (assuming I’d start earning) so I hope I still have enough money. Hopefully, I earn enough soon to support basic living expenses.
• Moving my money from my bank in China to the Philippines. Since I would be traveling I need easy to access to my money so I need to get it out of China. I don’t want to overwhelm you but let’s just say my obsessive compulsions latched onto numerous plans to transfer money involving conversion rates, wire transfer handling fees between US, China and the Philippines, bank drafts, travelers cheques and a covert operation of just smuggling my cash in packets of pure RMB across the border and be done with it.

All these have resulted in my brain going to overthinking mode and exploding into a nervous breakdown. Questions kept repeating like, Why was I doing this? Why did I ever quit? How was I ever going to manage all this?

More deranged thoughts spiraled me to bottom depths of despair, insecurity and depression that would make Elizabeth Wurtzel and anybody who has had the chance to sit on a therapy couch to stand up and applaud. And these are just hormones talking.

And this is when I broke out in hives.

It was like a scene that come out of a magic realism novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez or Isabel Allende. As soon as major anxiety set in, red pink spots started appearing and I was itching and hopping like mad.

So if anybody asked what I’m allergic to, I’ll say I’m allergic to worry.

To any woman undergoing the same thing, take a deep breath and give yourself a hug. It’s perfectly normal and it’ll be gone in a week. Some things I’ve decided to do this week in order to preserve my sanity:

• Don’t sweat the small stuff. We cannot always control events out of our realm. It’s okay to sit back and go with the flow.
• Treat myself. Watch comedies.
• Get a massage
• Don’t try to do so much. Guess I’ll leave my bank account alone for now. Do minimal termination procedure for my college. Pack for the next trip. Sort through clothes I don’t need. There’s nothing much I can do in this extreme state unless I want to undergo another nervous breakdown.
• Exercise more
• Practice meditation

In the meantime, I’ll also be putting thoughts of financial abundance to the universe.

The move continues.

Photo by stylefunda

You’ll also want to read:

I QUIT!

Why We Need Reflection

How To Create a Timetable and Get Rid of Procrastination

Perhaps you’re familiar with the overused phrases, “I have plenty of time.” or “I can do it tomorrow.” As I’m chronos- challenged, I often believe I have that invisible superman power to be able to do all my to-do lists in one single sweep. Five humongous tasks in one hour? No problem.

Not really.

This has unfortunately lead me to rushing my personal tasks year after year. The ubiquitous last minute syndrome. Packing for China an hour before heading to the airport. Packing my belongings into boxes and move to a new apartment two days before rushing to catch my plane to Australia for a 2 month backpacking trip. Thinking I could get a job in another country two weeks before my contract runs out. No wonder I couldn’t accomplish my yearly goals for four years.

This year I decided to change that.

One trick I learned from my teaching field and organizing conferences is the use of a timetable. In one semester, there is so much material to teach that you want to organize and stay on track so you could comply with your syllabus objectives and learning outcomes. See sample below.

WEEK	TOPIC(S)	ACTIVITY
1 6/02	Introductions, Course outline; Formal v Informal	Written paragraph for homework
2 13/02	Paraphrase & Parts of the book	Library Visit?
3 20/02	Paraphrasing Skimming & Annotating	Library Visit?

Likewise, in a conference you cannot afford to stay behind schedule with so many components (budget, accommodations, logistics, guest speakers, sponsors, etc) that a timetable calendar is a must to stay up to date and make sure you’re on top of your game. There is more at stake because you don’t want the event to fuck up- or you for the matter.

Now why can’t they do this for your personal development? We need a syllabus to our life (objectives- purpose) and a calendar with deadlines to make sure we’re on track. Like a conference, there is a lot at stake (our goals) and there will be a lot of changes along the way (flexible calendar needed) but in the end you can see where you’re at and soon will get to the finish line where champagne heaven awaits.  Below is a sample of my timetable with 80/20 prioritization.

WEEK	80%	20%
1 6/02	research Australia
2 13/02	publish 3 blog entries Sleep at 11pm 5x a week Notary- Macau & apply for new Phil. passport on Thursday? Create checklist for OZ requirements	Learn Spanish commands and questions and basic expressions
3 20/02 (slump week- downtime)	Contact schools for copies of Transcript of Records Fill in OZ education assessment application	Return Process Essay

I found using a timetable to be more effective than using David Allen’s GTD 90 Day-Monthly -Weekly system. It takes me less time and more importantly, I can see how much time I have left before my deadline. Also, how each step contributes to the next one tells me how important it is to do them on that week. This helps me stop procrastinating.

Here are the steps to create a timetable

1^st STEP: Break your yearly goals into projects. For example, one of my goals is to try to apply for a migration visa to Australia. The simple steps could be broken down to research, gathering paperwork and apply. More steps could be added as soon as you have gathered more information.

2^nd STEP: Make sure to be realistic and create a plan B and its steps for your goals. A timetable helps me create back-up plans. Should migrating to Australia fail, I’ll try to apply to Canada and New Zealand. If that does not work either, then I’ll try volunteering or study exchange programs. I like to create a Plan C, D, E, F to my Plan B and sometimes none of those happen and something completely surprising will be thrown at you. But you should always keep in mind that whatever plan you take it should be in line with your purpose in life. Mine is to travel, experience and inspire and be inspired by life.

3^rd STEP: Now that you have your steps and back-up plans in place, it’s time to fill in your calendar. You can use Google Calendar or create your own template in a word document. I aim for a 6 month plan which will leave plenty of flexibility for the other half of the year. Make sure to put deadlines to your goals and stick to them. Making the calendar at first would be a bit taxing but it would save you much time and stress in the end. It did for me.

With a timetable, you could also observe which weeks you’d be the most productive and schedule your most important tasks there. Likewise, you’d see which dates you’d likely be in a slump and pencil in some down time. Remember to carry your timetable with you wherever you go to be reminded of your tasks. Lastly, be flexible. There are many things that could happen in life but always make sure you keep the big picture in mind.

Happy Planning!

Photo from 2nd Green Revolution

How To Get Clarity In Your Life

 

A week ago, I was overwhelmed. My mind felt like it was a garage that hadn’t been cleaned out for months. I was dedicating myself to so many tasks and felt really guilty if I never did one or the other. I was a mouse burying itself in a maze, getting more lost than ever. I couldn’t establish any priorities and randomly took on more work without any clear direction.

I decided I needed to take some time off from the hectic flow of things and really get clarity on what I really want.

Clarity. The word speaks volumes. It isn’t just merely knowing what you want but knowing how and why you need to get there. Narrowing it down to one specific measurable goal.

Without this, you’re a ship wandering wherever you want in a big ocean. You’ll never get to your destination because in the first place you don’t know where you want to go. You might waste years climbing the corporate ladder and only when reaching the top you feel unfulfilled, realizing that this wasn’t what you wanted. Don’t get in that situation! Do something about it now before you can regret it for the rest of your life.

Know your purpose

This is your foundation. The steady rock that holds everything you must build your goals upon. What do you think you were born in this world for? What’s the purpose of your existence? A great resource on finding your purpose is Steve Pavlina’s How To Discover Your Life Purpose In About 20 minutes. This article has helped me shape my purpose which is to listen and share stories to the world and inspire people to fly.

Know what you want to do

Now that you’ve got your purpose ask yourself the question, “What do I really want to do that makes me happy?”. Go with the first answer that pops into your mind. In my case every time I’ve asked myself this question, it was always writing and nothing else. I’ve been boringly consistent all these years since 2^nd grade.

Hit that target! Choosing one thing to focus on

My dream is to become a writer specifically a novelist but there are many ways to get there. I figured I should start now and build my way up. I’m not afraid of dedicating 10 or 20 years of my life pursuing this. Do you remember the parable about the talents in the Bible? Well, your dream is like that. Imagine investing your time and effort on your talent. No matter what, you’d still grow.

I’ve decided at the present moment to concentrate solely on building my blog. Practicing my craft and building up a name for myself. I’ve managed to combine my love for fiction and writing articles under this paradigm. From now on everything that I do would be for the blog. Submitting my work and what-nots would come second place for now. That way I would still fulfill my purpose and contribute for the people.

To really strip down and make it simpler, I chose to focus on one thing and one thing only. I’ve decided to set a goal for myself to reach 20,000 stats at the end of this month and 24,000 at the end of this year. Crystal clear clarity. That means attracting at least 80 readers per day. When I got back to blogging earlier this year, I only had 10-15 readers. Then it gradually climbed to 20. Then 30. Currently, I’m oscillating between 40-70. Last month has been my highest climb in readers so far starting with the Being Grateful post. I’m looking forward to the challenge of increasing it. : )

4,335 to go.

Apply the 80/20 rule and zero based thinking

Now that you know exactly what you want, it’s time to apply these two principles to get rid of those unnecessary tasks that waste your time, stop you from being overwhelmed and double your productivity.

Do less to do more.

Taken from Tim Ferriss’ Four Hour Work Week ask yourself these questions, “Which 20% causes 80% of my happiness?” and “Which 20% causes 80% of my unhappiness?”. List them down. What you want to do is focus on the 20% that gives you the most happiness and trash the 80% that don’t.

I will admit I suck at applying the 80/20 rule or Pareto’s Law because I’m such a perfectionist. In this rule, 80% of the value lies in the 20% of the task and vice versa. Don’t spend hours looking for the perfect picture to accompany your blog post just because it would look smashing. Write the entry! After all, the main reason why the reader visited your site is to read it and not look at the picture.

But this is so hard when you apply this to teaching. Does lesson planning belong to the 20% or 80% of the value? Making it and your materials take 80% of your time and 20% of the value at the end of the semester. But if your lessons suck and are boring, you’d have a crappy student evaluation which takes a mere 20% but encompasses 80% of the school’s decision to hire you again or not.On the other hand, calculating their grades takes 20% of the time but accounts for 80% of importance. If you have an answer to this, let me know. Update: I did get an answer after a few years. Check out my latest entry on 80/20 rule, an update on how I finally implemented that into my daily life and pursuing your happiness in this post.

I usually get an aching feeling in my chest whenever I move or delete any task. I feel if I don’t do it now, I’d be losing an opportunity. For example, I’d like to create and submit my articles to Ehow, Ezine and Squidoo and circulate more of my fiction stories to magazines. But my present primary focus is building my blog and I cannot simply do that and all those things and still do well in my day job. They would have to wait and so I cross them off the list with an aching heart.

Only when you identify the crucial tasks and get clarity will you be free from stress and being bogged down with so much to do.

I hear a lot about zero based thinking from Brian Tracy. You often ask yourself, “Would I start this all over again knowing what I now know?” Last year, I gave a lot of quizzes and homework to my students –your typical idealistic teacher and all that. The result was I got buried in piles of paperwork which translated to a huge backlog. I ended up overly stressed and not marking some of them anyway just to catch up with the deadline of submitting the grades. I wasted a lot of my time researching and creating the tests. I applied zero based thinking for this semester and now gave them homework every 2 weeks and they usually mark their own exercises. Less work for me and I can still catch up with my marking. Which area of your life can benefit from applying zero based thinking?

This week my mind has never felt so much clarity and all my systems are raring to GO! GO! GO!. It was only by applying these methods that I was able to do that. By sharing these with you, I hope you can also get to enjoy from what I’m experiencing and start focusing on where you want to go with your life.

Get Clarity.

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Upcoming juicy bit: My next post will be about a kung-fu master I’ve recently interviewed so that should be fun and interesting complete with anecdotes about chi, yin and yang and other powerful kung-fu masters and what happened to them during the Cultural Revolution. Stay tuned!

RELATED POSTS:

Related Posts:

• How To Focus on What Makes You Happy and Get You Closer to Your Goals
• What’s the Rush?–Why People Are Missing Out on the Important Things in Life
• Strip Down- Getting Rid of the Non-essential Things in Life
• How to Cope with Rejection and Boost your Self-Esteem
• How To Talk To Your Subconscious

 

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