Murder Gone Wrong

Have you ever been in a situation where your plan of killing someone just didn’t go the way you wanted?

I’m guessing not many of you said yes.

Yesterday my next door neighbor Suzanne appeared before me, eyes and nose swollen red tearily announcing that she was going to perform euthanasia on one of her beloved cats, Lucky who’s been sick for a long time. She’s already gotten the lethal syringe in her purse from our clubhouse and had the funeral plot and wake all ready.

Our friend and summoned executioner, Pat arrived. I excused myself, not wanting to witness murder. Who could blame me?

Hours passed and yet I didn’t hear word from them. Pat finally came by, throwing up her arms in exasperation. It turned out the Chinese vet at the clubhouse had given them Valium –a human’s dosage no less and now the cat was high, pain gone and finally eating with gusto for the first time in weeks. Suzanne became a nervous wreck seeing her little friend at last well on the day of his execution.

It was the cruelest cold joke. Imagine if you applied this to humans. Let’s say, you’re all set and surrounding your ailing mother on her death bed in the hospital. The doctors administer the drugs. Her eyes flutter and close for what you think is the last time. You and your siblings start bawling. Finally, she shot up and begin dancing about the room before your astonished eyes. The doctors realized they put the wrong drug into her system. It would be sometime before you laid her to rest but think of the emotional roller coaster you’d had to go through.

So frantic calls were made and they found out that the Chinese vet was used to curing animals and he thought the Valium might help Lucky sleep. Like normal sleep. He must be kidding. I could just take an axe to him for doing this to my neighbor. Suzanne was bewildered as she had given explicit instructions to kill her cat and even had a Chinese friend translate for her. It was a classic TIC (This Is China) story. Probably the most surreal one I’ve experienced.

Pat and Suzanne managed to find another vet and got the right drug. So in the quiet Sunday afternoon, Lucky got his injection and because he still moved a bit was suffocated and was finally put out of his misery. Thus Suzanne began the task of finishing her red wine collection.

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