Update: Thanks to our wonderful friend Desertwolf (see comments) who has provided meaningful insights and information on this post. I’ve made a few corrections on this entry but there might still be some errors but the post generally stays the same as the original. I advise you to read the comments section for further explanation. It can also give you more ideas on the subtleties between the semantics of different terms.
This was also inspired by Steve Pavlina’s post How to be a Man but I don’t think this is what he originally had in mind. LOL. 🙂 So I didn’t submit this. I originally wrote this first before writing How to be a Woman- Her Three Stages because for some reason, I was more inspired putting myself in a transsexual’s shoes and how she would feel if she were to embark on her journey in becoming a real woman. I also had writer’s block just thinking on how to present How to Be a Woman in a different way so I thought I better just get some writing done and get the writer’s juice flowing and maaaaybe, it’ll come. And you know what? It worked.
So if you’ve got an open mind and are not in any way offended, continue reading and enjoy the article.
I. The Child
This is your awakening. You realize you are trapped within the wrong body. But you go about innocently dressing in the trappings of the opposite sex. You pout because your mother won’t let you join your friends in playing dress-up. Instead she directs you to those heathens with their primitive guns and ugly war cries. Your sisters shoo you away when you want to watch them dress up and put on make-up for their dates. You wonder why your brothers also do the same thing reasoning that you behave differently when they’re undressing. You feel like an outsider that don’t belong to any world. You realize you will have to endure a lot from the cruelty of your peers when they realize you’re an abomination of society. And not wanting any of that, you put on a façade of false identity, wear those horrible pants and strut around, pretending you like G.I. Joes.
II. The Teen
The façade is crumbling. You don’t know how long you can keep this up anymore. You feel as if your entire life is a lie. But society’s wrath is more brutal if you come out now. You will no longer enjoy the company of your female friends who thought you are flirting with them when all the while you’ve been listening to their beauty tips and the latest fashion trends for fall. Worse, you will be kicked out of your sacrosanct locker room which has been your haven all these years, your eyes stealing appreciative furtive glances at the tan magnificent bulk of your own species.
You won’t be allowed to play sports anymore. To your own surprise, you have proven to be very athletic and coaches want you on their teams. No wonder our motivation is often sky high when you see the tight uniforms of baseball players. The rising skimpy colorful shorts of soccer players. But in the end you choose football. You relish the brutal crunch of another body’s embrace impact and the rare view they give you before the game starts.
But day by day, you feel surer that there is nothing else you’d like to do but put on lipstick and a Valentino dress.
III. The Woman
Finally we come to the part where you can’t take it anymore. Damn the locker rooms! Damn sports! If you can’t be true to yourself, what is the point of living? Rather you live your life the way you want it or not live at all.
You’re sick and tired of all these years of pretending and heap lies upon lies.
You change your major from Business to Interior Design. You grow your hair long. You throw away your horrible pants and shirts. You finally buy Channel, Dolce and Gabanna and that fire-red engine lipstick you’ve had your eye on for months. You are free.
And yet in the outside world, you’re not. You’re now an outcast and a fag. You get kicked out of your team and you have to say farewell to your locker room. Your female friends shun you for being a freak. Your parents are stunned silent, horrified and would not speak to you for days. People spat and beat you at times for being true to yourself. After all, we live in a society of lies.
But in the midst of your alienation, others like you sought you out. You find the utmost comfort in their companionship. They help you go through the adjustment phase within yourself and those around you. They give you the courage to stand up to the people, look at them in the eye and say, “This is me. No bullshit.” Most importantly, they give you a gift far more precious than anything you’ve received. The truth that you are not alone.
And so your training towards the path of becoming a woman has begun. It’s hard but you savor in it. You learn to change the way you walk. More delicate and refined steps now. You learn to modify your syntax, your choice of words, the way you pronounce certain letters. Train your voice to become softer. Watch how you tilt your head. Your posture. Your mannerisms. Everything.
But as you progress in your metamorphosis, you discover there’s more to being a woman than just wearing pretty clothes and make-up. There is the ability to express emotions freely. To hug somebody without reservations. To be able to empathize immediately. To give you all her attention’s worth as you spill your problems. To be able to give you her shoulder to cry on. To listen and to rely on her intuition as well as others. To nurture. To be able to give and to receive. To love with all her heart and soul without misgivings. To bear and bring up a child into this world –something that sadly you can never do.
You will have to study all of these. Woman is a vast wilderness just waiting to be discovered. Mankind for centuries has yet to uncover her mysteries. But it doesn’t matter, you realize. After all, you have your whole lifetime to learn.